“Colton’s Bridge”
(story by Jack Archibald)
Camano Island, not too long back, was accessible pretty much only by boat, which explains why we’re part of Island County with Whidbey, and not Snohomish. For a time we had a little cable ferry to cross across the river and later we had a swing bridge. About 60 years ago we built the Mark Clark Bridge. Mark Clark, for all you commuters getting backed up by him every morning and evening, was a WW2 general who bought property on the island but never actually lived here. He was as close to a hero as Camano ever had, but sadly we all wish he’d cut a wider swath. About 4 lanes wide… Now, of course, we have the new bridge about to open. Still kind of a bottleneck and unfortunately, still no good heroes to name it after. I suppose we could offer up some beachfront land to somebody famous and name it after them. The Galloping Gourmet lived here, but we can’t call it the Galloping Gourmet Bridge, not after Galloping Gertie galloped into the Tacoma Narrows. We could always have a contest, I suppose. That’s what folks do when they’ve run out of ideas. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and offer my own modest proposal. The Colton Harris Moore Bridge. Now I know there’ll be some initial resistance, but hear me out, okay? The South End Chamber of Little Commerce, our bastion of entrepreneurial endeavor, doesn’t really like talking to reporters about Colton, something akin to Forks denying that vampires walk their streets after dark. I guess the realtors hate having to explain the intricacies of alarm system technologies to every prospective shack buyer. It’s a difficult enough market as it is … and if you were looking for property with a small airstrip behind the carriage house and a hangar for your Cessna, well, probably there are better places to retire. Our current tourism ad slogan — ‘the place to do nothing’ – always troubled us slackers down past Elger Bay Store. We weren’t proud of unemployment and indolence. We aren’t ashamed either, but hellfire, what kind of tourist promotion IS this? Especially when we got the Mother of All Tourist Promotions going on for the past 3 or 4 years. The Barefoot Burglar, the Camano Kid, the Flying Filcher, our very own international anti-hero. The movies are being shot, the books are being written, the documentaries are being edited, the mom has hired an entertainment lawyer, the deals are being made! Rolling Stone has declared Camano officially the Cape Cod of the Pacific Northwest. And we still want to be the place that does nada? Maybe the Chamber …. But the rest of us are ready to roll! Tour buses, T-shirts, coffee mugs, souvenir shops: we’re ready to cash in. Camano, the island to do nothing? We don’t need a new slogan, we need a new NAME. Colton Island. Nice ring to it. And how do you get to Colton Island? Bingo! Get off the hammock and call your commissioner today!
[Paid for by the Colton Harris Moore Bridge Committee]
